Ok, stop guessing.

January is a time when people decide that they are all of a sudden more motivated than they ever have been and ever will be for the rest of the year. The same holds true for us at BuyUglySweaters.

We consider ourselves ugly-chic clothing evangelists, not just sweater pushers. To show our range of knowledge, influence, and fashion expertise, we are launching a new email-only newsletter to keep you in the loop on amazing vintage clothing & accessories that we come across when we are on our many sweater adventures. Best of all, it’s 100% free!

So, give us a shot, we wont let you down and join us as we discover the best and baddest in the world of vintage clothing and accessories.

Here’s some ideas of what you can expect to find in the Vintage Finds Newsie:
* Rare or unique women’s fashion
* Decade specific clothing (50′s, 60′s, 70′s, etc.)
* Awesome vintage hats
* Stunning Jewelry from grandmas attic
* One-off items that will be gone forever once sold
* Of course, a remarkable sweater specimen here and there
* Polyester suits that would make Bob Hope sprout wood

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Here is a list of our favorite ideas to make for damn sure that you still snap necks and collect checks at this year’s Ugly Sweater Party.

1. Get your glow on, sucka.
Wrap yourself up in a set of lights. These bad boys are only about $8. Fire hazard, shmire shmazard, this is the pro-way to make a party sweet.

But, there’s a catch, of course. With light wearing, you’ll either need a portable power source to plug into or stand close to an outlet at the party you’re attending (this can make for a painful situation). We’ve got you covered. The above lights are USB enabled! Here’s a power source that we especially like to make all systems go and be nice to the environment and Al Gore.

2. Go HAM in some boots!
Wearing Ugly Sweaters is as American as apple pie. That’s why when we think about the best possible shoe combination for Ugly Sweater usage, we think BOOTS! Get American country all up in this.
MENS:

WOMENS:

That’s a quality accessory and self-defense mechanism wrapped up in one.

3. A non-ridden, fresh & youthful mustache.
Don’t doubt for a second that a mustache (for girls and guys) isn’t a great idea for daily use, but nothing especially gets friends and family fired up for the holidays like a good old fashioned lip warmer. You’re a girl? I got 99 problems and that aint one, but don’t feel left out, we’ve got you covered.
Mens:

Womens:

Complete the ugly with this assortment of accessories. Do you have some other ideas on how to take your look over the top? Send us a link to your favorite Ugly Sweater Outfit and maybe we’ll just make you our super special person of the week.

Today we are going to inspect in close detail some of the intricacies in design that make the ugly sweater phenomenon less a fad and more a eternal staple of existence.

For example, notice the depiction of Santa on this Ugly Vest.  He is known worldwide as the man that enables children the world over to become slaves to their inner desire for the things they don’t really need, but the secret of his passion lies here.   Santa, the bleeding heart for animals is a sucker for baby animals of all breeds, shapes, and sizes.

The below detail in this ugly sweatshirt is so incredible that I have to point it out or suffer the consequence of living in a world where people do not know of one clothing manufacturers sheer laziness.  The wreath is a symbol of miraculous peace and warm welcome over the holidays.  Let’s at least pay honest tribute to such a symbol by giving a pattern a natural look.  Patterns wrap around on whatever tapestry they are embracing, they don’t blanket them like some sort of love-struck mountain goat.

For those of you playing the home edition of <i>Amazing Sweater Pursuit</i>, the below sweater features a drunkenly animated snowbeast stumbling through someone’s backyard and toppling over their clothing lines before catching themselves on a birdhouse.  The stitch work doesn’t end at the birdhouse itself.  The artist at hand gave us a special treat by including the back of a bird’s head inside the house.  Leaving this hole empty wouldn’t have left much to the imagination.  I’d simply view the birdhouse and continue on with my business, but this back-of-birdhead tempts me to continue asking questions.  What is more important inside the house than the snow-beast collapsing upon the outside of it?  Perhaps it is not a bird and could be the remains of the drunken snow-beasts lunch?  A sweater that asks questions and does not answer them is the true Zen of the holiday season.

Here are a few prime examples:

And tons more where those came from, simply check out our Ugly Sweaters (Non-catalogued) section for the full selection.

Keep it ugly!

The times have indeed changed. I turn my head for a second and there are now 30+ places to get ugly sweaters online, not to mention the crap-stew of ebay stores dedicated to the ugly art. It’s the natural progression for just about any industry (niche) and we welcome it in a weird way. Listen, if more people get involved and spread the ugly word, it’ll do nothing more than make it look like we’re the old western cabbage-breathed settlers that discovered California when it was just a few Indians and Mexicans roaming aimlessly about.

Listen, folks, we’re not trying to throw hands here. We just want to let everyone know that we are having another go at this crazy thing. We will not flap our wings ignorantly into the night like an intoxicated owl.

Please endear us with your warm wishes and prepare for a shit storm.

He was sort of a nice man, but really not that nice in a modern way.  He had tons of people that would follow him around huddling close to his sweater face because it was so luxurious and warm.   The huddling masses knew that it was an ugly sweater face, but they gave no further thought to it.  It was warm and they lived in a far off place, which should never have been understood in this story to have a favorable climate.

Sweaters McWool tended to his flock, like he might do if they were cattle that he chose not to milk.  Along his path, he would drop food out of his sweater face for others to scurry up to and eat.  Nobody knew the quality of his face wool, or if it was sanitary to eat his droppings, but again they cared only for the warmth and sustainability of life.

One day, McWool danced about the town along his way to the store  for a carton of parsnips and ginger beer when he noticed a light tugging at his sweater face.  The plucking intensified until he began seeing glimmers of light shimmering through his ugly face wool.  The tugging continued until he was left with broad daylight burning his tender flesh and singing his brow.  Between his fingers he spotted a gang of barn owls, mouths full of his face sweater, flying away with their hat’s turned backwards.  He got face-jacked by a gang of barn owls.

Not accustom to such bullying.  Sweaters McWool ran home crying.   His face had smoldering flames from the sun; not cool.

There he stayed for years on end.  Couped up in his little house walking around with paper towels and handkerchiefs over his face to simulate a sweater.  He was a broken man.  One day on a particularly cold…day, Sweaters awoke to the tune of caroling.  It was a joyous harmony not unlike Motown or Joey from NKOTB.  Sweaters sprang to his feet and took a peek out of his Sauna room window.  There stood the entire group of followers that he used to call his own.  They were swaying with the gay melody, singing gayly, in a happy happy way.   On their bodies was a strange adornment that Sweaters McWool had never dang darn ever done seen in his life.  It was a knitted article of clothing, thick in the collar, and quite scratchy to the skin.  The townsfolk were all wearing threads from McWool’s former sweater face.

Then from the crowd emerged a young girl, she stood with another knit item of clothing that she presented to Sweaters.  He rushed out through his sauna, past the snooker tables, out the drum kit foyer, and into the sewer garden to crown himself with the gift.

That evening the town joined hands and ate an amazing meal of burned barn owl, using their very on ugly sweaters as rich, glamorous napkins.

The End